They are brave & beautiful young women, they are.
My official job title may be that of “Dean of Women”, but
what this really means is that somehow, I was the one privileged to live among
these girls this past year.
They call it dorm life. Ten bunk beds lining the perimeter
of one U-shaped room with mirrors for only half the number of its occupants and
four showers to share among us. Personal space is nearly non-existent, for
getting just a smidgen of time alone means crawling out into one of the
concrete window wells or trying to find seclusion in the bathroom of the
library to Skype home. We share wardrobes,
headbands, and pretzels from the States, and learn to live with the early birds
and the night owls.
I think they are brave.
They chose to leave their homes in America and Canada and
fly half-way around the world to spend four to eight months in a foreign
country most of them had never been to before, living with people they did not
know, and committed to studying and ministering in ways that they knew would
stretch them physically, spiritually, and emotionally. This was not some reality
TV show they were paid to produce. Actually, they paid to come here and to push themselves outside of their
comfort zones with no guarantee of success or earthly reward.
They came from varied church and family backgrounds, some
fresh out of high school, some with more travel-dust on their sandals from previous
treks to not-so-touristy spots in the world. Some had dreamed and planned of
coming for years, others made short-notice decisions to take this flying leap
into the unknown.
They came, zealous, passionate, scared, idealistic, burdened,
searching, and thirsty. Passionate about life and zealous for Christ but asking
the questions of “who am I and what is God’s will for my life?”
They were thirsty for
more. For more than the American dream, for more than the pursuit of career
for the sake of money, for more than chasing guys and squandering their
opportunities and time. They did not
want to settle for the status-quo or for a mediocre, shallow commitment to
their walk with God. For them, that thirst for more of God meant leaving behind
what was familiar and comfortable and predictable…
So they came.
And we lived together.
[Quite close together, actually.]
And in the daily moments of
The Living, I watched them. Sometimes, I felt a bit protective of my girls,
wanting to shield them from pain, from too much breaking, from disappointment and
unmet expectations. [I've wondered, is this a fraction of what a mother feels
as she watches her children grow, knowing that they need the hard things in
life to make them strong, but wishing it didn't have to be a painful process?]
I watched them come out of their shells and shatter random “first
impressions” from that night when they walked through the customs of Chiang Mai
Airport, bewildered and travel-weary. From that night forward, it has been a
journey. For all sixteen of them and for me.
I watched them learn to navigate the motor-bike congested
streets of this city by using public songthaews, and cheered with them when
they first hailed a songthaew to Big C “all by themselves” for the price of a
10 Baht coin. I showed them how to use the semi-automatic washer in our
bathroom which seems like a luxury after washing all your clothes by hand
during a 10 day ministry trip. I introduced them to khau pad guy and pad thai
dishes in the local food shops and tried to convince them that they will get used to the spicy food…eventually.
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| First Semester Ladies |
I listened to their stories of hiking through the mountains of
Nepal, teaching English to university students older than they are, holding the
mother-less children of Cambodia, washing the feet of the their Indian sisters,
sleeping on rice mats on concrete floors, staying in hostels with dozens of
rowdy school-aged kids, prayer walking in the red-light districts of China
& Pattaya, and reaching out to the Thai girl who runs the cash register at
our local 7-11. I’m proud of my girls. In a good, godly, humble sort of way.
For I see them as young women who are learning to give beyond what they think
is their limit and in the giving and the stretching, God is faithful to show Himself
strong and to use their hands and their lips and their feet to be His own.
I think they are beautiful.
I saw when they unashamedly shed tears and confessed
apathy after seeing the film of their persecuted brothers & sisters in
Indonesia. It was my face that had tears streaking down my cheeks when I heard
their testimonies in church or in dorm meeting, or by the answers to specific prayers, or in conversations that took place
while sitting on the tile floor of my room. My tears were tears of undeserved
yet overwhelming joy…
…for those were times
that I felt like I was treading on sacred ground. To get a glimpse into
their souls, to hear their hearts, and to see the struggle, the wrestling, and
the pain that God was taking them through as He purged and restored and then
rekindled. Sometimes, I stand back in awe at what God is doing in the lives of
these young women and I am invigorated by the potential that they possess. For
it is in the surrender that strength and
vision and endurance arise.
They are beautiful young women. They are beautiful in
outward appearance of curly-haired and straight, blonde, brunette, and raven
tresses, freckled, fair, and tan, short and tall, and eyes of hazel, blue or
green. We have every personality among us you can imagine and then some spice
and spunk and wit and humor that make me laugh and shake my head in amazement.
Their taste in colors and styles vary widely but I love their creativity as
individuals.
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| 2nd Semester Ladies |
They are beautiful in talents of photography, writing
poetry, painting, playing penny whistles and pianos, culinary skills,
athletics, harmonizing with harmonicas, singing, and gifts of mercy, exhortation,
teaching and organization. Sometimes I wonder, what aren’t they good at? J
Yet in all of these outward expressions of beauty, I see
that they desire, as women, to possess beauty
with purpose. Not beauty for their own benefit or for merely the admiration
of others, but a self-less beauty that is a reflection of who they are in Christ
and a beauty of brokenness that rises forth from being poured out upon the altar
for others. The kind of beauty that is courageous and willing to do hard things
for the sake of the One who created them, ransomed them and empowers them. He
is the One who is receiving glory through their lives, and that is indeed
beautiful to behold.
Sometimes, I marvel at who am I to get to walk alongside
these girls, to invest in their lives, and to find that in the end, I am the
one receiving a hundred-fold more than anything I have ever given?
To be sure, no one
ever said that this year would be easy. It hasn't been. We have had struggles, sicknesses, spiritual
attacks, personality differences, and the stresses and stretching that come
from living so closely together for months at a time. We have seen each other
at our best and at our worst, at those times when we are just plain exhausted
and peopled-out. Yet something that is worth having is worth fighting for… and
I believe with all my heart that these past eight months is something precious
that has indeed been worth fighting for.
Next year, another woman will take up the title of “Dean of
Women” and occupy the little gray bedroom attached to girls’ dorm. It is a
bittersweet feeling to pass on this position and to know that this year was my
first and final chapter in that role. And yet, I am only a steward of this
position, for it is not my own or one that I can lay any claim to. One thing I
am assured of – God gave me the gift of knowing these girls who in reality
taught, and challenged, and encouraged me in ways that they don’t even realize.
That is a gift that I am humbled by and eternally grateful for.
As we near the end of the final semester and departure dates
rapidly approach, my desire is that we can all finish well. And to each of my
girls, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives. For loving me and putting up with my flaws and quirky habits, for all the times of shared laughter and serious talks, and for encouragement through notes & words.
My prayer for you is that you continue to follow God with all your
hearts, knowing that your life is not your own, and our Father who is Faithful
& Good will complete the work He has begun within you.
You are brave and beautiful women, that you
are…
