My Girls...

They are brave & beautiful young women, they are.

My official job title may be that of “Dean of Women”, but what this really means is that somehow, I was the one privileged to live among these girls this past year.

They call it dorm life. Ten bunk beds lining the perimeter of one U-shaped room with mirrors for only half the number of its occupants and four showers to share among us. Personal space is nearly non-existent, for getting just a smidgen of time alone means crawling out into one of the concrete window wells or trying to find seclusion in the bathroom of the library to Skype home.  We share wardrobes, headbands, and pretzels from the States, and learn to live with the early birds and the night owls.

I think they are brave.

They chose to leave their homes in America and Canada and fly half-way around the world to spend four to eight months in a foreign country most of them had never been to before, living with people they did not know, and committed to studying and ministering in ways that they knew would stretch them physically, spiritually, and emotionally. This was not some reality TV show they were paid to produce. Actually, they paid to come here and to push themselves outside of their comfort zones with no guarantee of success or earthly reward.

They came from varied church and family backgrounds, some fresh out of high school, some with more travel-dust on their sandals from previous treks to not-so-touristy spots in the world. Some had dreamed and planned of coming for years, others made short-notice decisions to take this flying leap into the unknown.

They came, zealous, passionate, scared, idealistic, burdened, searching, and thirsty. Passionate about life and zealous for Christ but asking the questions of “who am I and what is God’s will for my life?”

They were thirsty for more. For more than the American dream, for more than the pursuit of career for the sake of money, for more than chasing guys and squandering their opportunities and time.  They did not want to settle for the status-quo or for a mediocre, shallow commitment to their walk with God. For them, that thirst for more of God meant leaving behind what was familiar and comfortable and predictable…

So they came. 

And we lived together. 

[Quite close together, actually.]

And in the daily moments of The Living, I watched them. Sometimes, I felt a bit protective of my girls, wanting to shield them from pain, from too much breaking, from disappointment and unmet expectations. [I've wondered, is this a fraction of what a mother feels as she watches her children grow, knowing that they need the hard things in life to make them strong, but wishing it didn't have to be a painful process?]

I watched them come out of their shells and shatter random “first impressions” from that night when they walked through the customs of Chiang Mai Airport, bewildered and travel-weary. From that night forward, it has been a journey. For all sixteen of them and for me.

I watched them learn to navigate the motor-bike congested streets of this city by using public songthaews, and cheered with them when they first hailed a songthaew to Big C “all by themselves” for the price of a 10 Baht coin. I showed them how to use the semi-automatic washer in our bathroom which seems like a luxury after washing all your clothes by hand during a 10 day ministry trip. I introduced them to khau pad guy and pad thai dishes in the local food shops and tried to convince them that they will get used to the spicy food…eventually.

First Semester Ladies

I listened to their stories of hiking through the mountains of Nepal, teaching English to university students older than they are, holding the mother-less children of Cambodia, washing the feet of the their Indian sisters, sleeping on rice mats on concrete floors, staying in hostels with dozens of rowdy school-aged kids, prayer walking in the red-light districts of China & Pattaya, and reaching out to the Thai girl who runs the cash register at our local 7-11. I’m proud of my girls. In a good, godly, humble sort of way. For I see them as young women who are learning to give beyond what they think is their limit and in the giving and the stretching, God is faithful to show Himself strong and to use their hands and their lips and their feet to be His own.

I think they are beautiful.

I saw when they unashamedly shed tears and confessed apathy after seeing the film of their persecuted brothers & sisters in Indonesia. It was my face that had tears streaking down my cheeks when I heard their testimonies in church or in dorm meeting, or by the answers to specific prayers, or in conversations that took place while sitting on the tile floor of my room. My tears were tears of undeserved yet overwhelming joy…

…for those were times that I felt like I was treading on sacred ground. To get a glimpse into their souls, to hear their hearts, and to see the struggle, the wrestling, and the pain that God was taking them through as He purged and restored and then rekindled. Sometimes, I stand back in awe at what God is doing in the lives of these young women and I am invigorated by the potential that they possess. For it is in the surrender that strength and vision and endurance arise.

They are beautiful young women. They are beautiful in outward appearance of curly-haired and straight, blonde, brunette, and raven tresses, freckled, fair, and tan, short and tall, and eyes of hazel, blue or green. We have every personality among us you can imagine and then some spice and spunk and wit and humor that make me laugh and shake my head in amazement. Their taste in colors and styles vary widely but I love their creativity as individuals.

2nd Semester Ladies

They are beautiful in talents of photography, writing poetry, painting, playing penny whistles and pianos, culinary skills, athletics, harmonizing with harmonicas, singing, and gifts of mercy, exhortation, teaching and organization. Sometimes I wonder, what aren’t they good at? J

Yet in all of these outward expressions of beauty, I see that they desire, as women, to possess beauty with purpose. Not beauty for their own benefit or for merely the admiration of others, but a self-less beauty that is a reflection of who they are in Christ and a beauty of brokenness that rises forth from being poured out upon the altar for others. The kind of beauty that is courageous and willing to do hard things for the sake of the One who created them, ransomed them and empowers them. He is the One who is receiving glory through their lives, and that is indeed beautiful to behold.

Sometimes, I marvel at who am I to get to walk alongside these girls, to invest in their lives, and to find that in the end, I am the one receiving a hundred-fold more than anything I have ever given?

To be sure, no one ever said that this year would be easy. It hasn't been. We have had struggles, sicknesses, spiritual attacks, personality differences, and the stresses and stretching that come from living so closely together for months at a time. We have seen each other at our best and at our worst, at those times when we are just plain exhausted and peopled-out. Yet something that is worth having is worth fighting for… and I believe with all my heart that these past eight months is something precious that has indeed been worth fighting for.

Next year, another woman will take up the title of “Dean of Women” and occupy the little gray bedroom attached to girls’ dorm. It is a bittersweet feeling to pass on this position and to know that this year was my first and final chapter in that role. And yet, I am only a steward of this position, for it is not my own or one that I can lay any claim to. One thing I am assured of – God gave me the gift of knowing these girls who in reality taught, and challenged, and encouraged me in ways that they don’t even realize. That is a gift that I am humbled by and eternally grateful for.

As we near the end of the final semester and departure dates rapidly approach, my desire is that we can all finish well. And to each of my girls, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives. For loving me and putting up with my flaws and quirky habits, for all the times of shared laughter and serious talks, and for encouragement through notes & words. 

My prayer for you is that you continue to follow God with all your hearts, knowing that your life is not your own, and our Father who is Faithful & Good will complete the work He has begun within you.  

You are brave and beautiful women, that you are… 

By the Sea...

I don't remember exactly when the brainstorm was first kindled. 

Somewhere in the midst of the busy schedules of daily life, the humidity of hot season, and the realization that turning 28 is nearly upon both of us, we thought that a little getaway by the beach would be in order. Who says you can't celebrate 

the milestone of "Turning 30" two years early? :) 

We picked a place. Penang, Malaysia. Neither of us had ever been there or knew anyone personally who had, but flights were cheap, it was along the coast, and the location was outside of Thailand so it would count as a visa run as well. 

The trip had been planned several months ago, but the timing of it couldn't have been more perfect. The past month has been hard in the terms of needing to make some weighty decisions, and I was feeling pretty drained. In retrospect, this 4 day trip was a precious gift from God, & here is a photographic tribute...

Yay for budget airlines like Air Asia. Except for when they charged to rebook us for our connecting flight because we checked in 8 minutes late :(

Our hotel by the beach, compliments of Mel's thrifty travel agent skills on agoda.com :)

The stairway going down to the beach from our hotel's bridge access. 

Sunsets by the sea... God's handiwork takes my breath away... 

Our secluded spot on the beach where we spent a lot of quiet time reading and journaling.
The sea, the sand, and the salty air are so refreshing to one's soul...

Times like these are always better when shared with a friend...
[and being asked by strangers if we are sisters? I'll take that as a compliment. :)]

On Friday, we decided to rent a motorbike to tour the island and the historic city of Georgetown. One tour guide tried to convince us that hiring a taxi and tour guide would be the better, safer option for us. We appreciated his concern (or his sales pitch to get us to rent the hotel's taxi service), but we preferred to blaze the trail on our own. The experience was every bit as adventurous as it sounds. 

Our rental bike and fearless driver. This is after we figured out that Malaysia does not have full-service fuel pumps like Thailand. :)

Yes, I am directionally challenged. But armed with a detailed map, on the look out for some specific landmarks, and we got around just fine.

The waterfront view from downtown

Georgetown is the capital city of the Malaysian state of Penang, and was first colonized by the British in 1786. Due to that influence, many of the buildings have been preserved in their original colonial architect as a World Heritage site. A simply charming city that is a fascinating cultural melting pot of Malay, Indian, and Chinese people, 

as well as other ethnicities.

I don't consider myself a photographer by any stretch of imagination. But even I was giddy at discovering all this quaint Old World charm... 

Georgetown is famous for their rich and creamy blend of white coffee. We were not disappointed. :) 

There were many evidences of different religions here with numerous Mosques, Hindi temples, and
Buddhist statues.

 

More colonial architecture...

Old Meets New: Pedal-bike rickshaws shared the streets with luxury vehicles.

Have I mentioned the beautiful architecture we saw on every street? :)

 

Props to a passerby on the street who offered to take our picture when we were struggling with self-timer
camera settings. :)

The waterfront yacht clubhouse

I have a weakness for old churches with steeples and was delighted to find one in Asia! 

Too many different ethnic restaurants to choose from? "Let's get a dish from all of them, " she said.
This was the Chinese dish, Laksa, I believe it's called. Made of fish and noodles in tomato curry.

And this was the Indian food, complete with authentic Chai tea, tandoor chicken, roti, and dahl. You have to taste it for yourself to understand the deliciousness of that plate. 

The following afternoon, we opted for a countryside route, winding up and down the mountains.

At one point, the actual road did not match my trusty map. But we bravely motored on and discovered the scenic route is sometimes the best one of all. :)

Last stop of the biking expedition was to purchase some real White Coffee.  

[And this is one of those "footsie" photos that I find strangely disturbing when I see them all over
 Facebook & Instagram].
But instead of buying boring "I Love Penang" tourist T-shirts, we opted for a much cuter and more lasting souvenir. Mine are the red, hers are the navy. :) 

"One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood."
-Lucius A. Seneca

Thanking God for the gifts of kindred spirits, sunshine, sand, and the salty ocean air...

Less of Me...

My biggest enemy is myself. 

The most daunting battles are the ones where it is my flesh pitted against my spirit. 

Right now, I want to climb down off the altar, run away from the sacrifice, and demand an answer to all my "why's?" 

You parted the Red Sea for the children of Israel, You raised to life the dead son of the widow woman, and You fed 5,000 people with mere loaves & fishes. You are able. You came through for them... What about me? What about others who I know are hurting and confused? 

So I agonize and I weep and I don't feel like the strong warrior woman that so many think that I am... 

But-- there is that still, small Voice. The One who invites me to wrestle with Your Goodness, the Voice that whispers when I want signs & wonders from heaven, the Voice that woos me to trust in the very character of Emmanuel {God With Us}. 

You are still there. You are the One who draws me closer to Your heart even when everything within me screams to run and take my own way. 

You are still good. You continue to perform miracles before my eyes every single day. Your timing is perfect even when it makes no sense to my earthly snapshot of the here & the now. 

I will choose to praise You, even when I can't see one step beyond where I am right now. 

I do love You. Like Job, the man who was stripped of absolutely everything and everyone he held dear, I want to say, "For He bruises, but He binds up: He wounds, but His hands make whole." [Job 5:18]

It is worth it. For You are Worthy...

PRAYER of DETACHMENT

St. John of the Cross (1542-1591) 

Deliver me, O Jesus... 

...from the desire of being loved 

...from the desire of being extolled 

...from the desire of being praised 

...from the desire of being preferred 

...from the desire of being consulted 

...from the desire of being approved 

...from the desire of being popular 

Deliver me, O Jesus... 

...from the fear of being humiliated 

...from the fear of being despised 

...from the fear of suffering rebuke 

...from the fear of being forgotten 

...from the fear of being wronged 

...from the fear of being ridiculed 

...from the fear that others may be loved more than I 

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire... 

...that others may be esteemed more than I 

...that in the opinion of the world others may increase and I may decrease 

...that others may be chosen and I set aside 

...that others may be praised and I unnoticed 

...that others may become holier than I provided that I may become as holy as I should.

Snapshots of Life [May - June 2013]

Statistics don't lie. Interestingly enough, the stats of my blog show that the post with the most pictures had nearly three times as many views as the other posts that were merely writing. Popular opinion rules in this case, so rather than tell you about my life, this time I thought you might prefer if I show you instead.

Ah, Monday Nights. 

They are our girls' night out once a week to talk, to share, to laugh, to cry, to drink coffee, and to pray with each other. What a gift those Monday nights have been with you, Melanie! 

Of course, those Monday nights usually involve coffee in some form & flavor.  :) 

Street scene from downtown Chiang Mai with Tuk-Tuk's parked in the foreground.

2nd Term was the "Month of the Foot Problems." 

One of the guys severely split open his toe while playing ping pong. Another one of the students developed a stubborn skin infection on both of his feet. Then there were various hives of the feet, swelling of the feet, & foot pains from going barefoot on concrete floors all the time. I was quite in my element getting to bandage, sanitize, medicate, and diagnose, but I was just sorry it was at the students' expense. :) 

Treating the split toe. I spared you the close up shot of the injury. 

Then there was THE KIDNAPPING. 

I thought I was going out for supper with one of the girls. They had all ganged up on me and had completely different plans for the evening. I was promptly blindfolded as soon as I came down the steps, led to the waiting songthaew (taxi), and hurried off to an unknown destination. 

Surprise! We had arrived at the beautiful Waterfall Restaurant for dinner

All the lovely ladies who joined us for the evening

Me & "My Girls''  ~ I think they are just pretty splendid. 

We had a few empty pots & planters around here that I wanted to use to add some color to the exterior of the school which is mostly concrete. Barb Yoder, the administrator's wife, and I went to a nursery one afternoon and filled the truck with lovely flowers. It was so much fun to get my hands in the dirt again. 

Now it's the challenge of keeping the plants alive.  :)

 

Three of my friends who had been students with me in 2010 returned to Thailand to visit and do some traveling. It was really special to have them over here and we even had a mini 2010 Reunion with them and those of us staff who had been here all together. 

Coffee shop with Yony who traveled all the way from London to visit.
Love how we can pick up right where we left off! :) 

Those of us 2010'ers on this side of the world. Good memories with these people!

And then, there are the daily routines and moments that my days consist of. Just in case you wanted a glimpse of some of my surroundings... 

Khau pad guy - One of my many favorite Thai dishes of
fried rice with chicken served with a tomato broth and a spritz of fresh lime. 

I have to keep five bathrooms and the girls' dorm stocked with paper supplies.
Believe me, we go through a lot around here! 

The cafeteria/dining area

The downstairs lounge where studying, reading, guitar-playing, games, and conversation take place.
Sometimes all at once. 

The Study Hall. Or where studying is SUPPOSED to take place. :) 

Classroom. The students spend between 4-5 hr/day in class.
(yep, that was me too not that long ago. :))

Every morning we have a chapel service, and on Fridays, a group of students are in charge. They have done a great job of planning those chapel services with a variety of activities. Sometimes, that includes skits to
act out Bible verses. 

Chapel Service 

Three women with a scales, a mirror, a black sweater, a silk scarf, and plenty of exaggerated expressions. I believe we got our verse of "do not compare yourselves among yourselves" across quite well. :) 

And sometimes, skits bring out unknown talents among us. Even in our administrator.  :)

Saturday night cook-outs at the Pastor's home.
We love the Barkman's. And we love Mr. Barkman's grilling. :) 

One day I found all these sticky notes from the girls on my door.
They certainly know how to make me laugh & cry all at once. 

And then, I find these random jokes hanging in the shower behind my towel.
Did I ever say I love a good sense of humor?? :)


After three weeks of classes and exams, the students leave for a 10 day ministry trip. That is my time to recoup, to refresh, to sleep, to catch up on never-ending projects, and to plan for the coming term.
It is also the perfect time to spend with friends who have a spare room in their house with A/C. [grin]

Practicing my culinary skills with Jana, Second-in-Command of the Kitchen.
(For the record, First-in-Command would be her mother. Not me) 

Lunch with Mae Wan, our faithful laundry lady and Thai Grandma

A 4th of July celebration for Val's 60th Birthday (with the gift of a hand-drawn picture of his children).
I feel so blessed to work under the leadership of this man of God. 

After the Month of the Foot Problems, we had a bout of Dengue Fever that took it's toll on one of the students and two of the staff. All three of them had to be hospitalized for several days due to very low platelet counts. The fever is spread by infected mosquitoes who are striped black-and-white and are most commonly active during the day, unlike most other evening-biting mosquitoes. 

We praise God for the healing He brought to those three and that so far, the rest of us have been spared. 

Visiting one of the students, Sandra, in the hospital.

Life continues to be a journey of the mundane and the extraordinary.
Yet in it all, He keeps giving me purpose, teaching my skittish heart to trust Him, and multiplying my meager offering of loaves and fishes in ways that make me stand in awe of how chooses us to do His work here on earth. 

May we all be in such a condition of soul, such an attitude of heart as will fit us for any little work in which our gracious Lord may be pleased to use us — not seeking a place for ourselves, but lovingly serving all. The Lord, in His great mercy, grant that thus it may be, with all His beloved people!" 

~C.H. Mackintosh